I just tried to talk to my Dad about the bank account I mentioned in the last post and he got frustrated with me. I honestly don’t know if I was being unintentionally difficult because I’m feeling depressed or if he was explaining himself badly. I got annoyed with him when he asked why I’m depressed today, which was bad of me, although I wish, after fourteen years, I could help my parents to understand that you don’t have to have a reason to be clinically depressed any more than you have to have a reason to have cancer. (Sometimes I wish my parents read my blog, although usually I’m glad they don’t.) And then Dad got frustrated with me because he’s also sure that I haven’t made the kettle milchig and he can’t understand why I think it’s a problem.
So I’m kind of glad today that I’m single and have no one else around me that I can annoy and argue with, because I’m obviously in one of those moods where everything everyone says to me sounds stupid and offensive even if they don’t mean it to; everything I say to everyone else sounds angry and aggressive even if I don’t mean it to; and where my depression and OCD are making me worry about stuff that seems incredibly worrying to me and completely stupid to everyone else. On days like this I can see myself staying single for a very long time.