I’m writing this paragraphy just after 3.00pm. I’ve been awake since about 12.15pm, but I’m still in my pyjamas. I’ve had breakfast and read a bit of the latest Doctor Who Magazine, but that’s about it. I’ve spent most of my awake-time today so far lying in bed thinking. I feel really drained and I’m not sure why. Perhaps it’s the cumulative effect of my first week back at work, enrollment and a reasonably busy Shabbat yesterday, with some social interaction (at least by my standards). But I just have no energy at all, as if I was physically ill with the flu or something, but with no physical symptoms other than no energy. I don’t even feel particularly depressed, just drained and a little bit lonely. The heat in the flat doesn’t help. I only have a small window, so I mainly ventilate my flat by opening the front and back doors, which I obviously don’t want to do while I’m in my pyjamas. I was too tired to get up properly, too tired to get dressed and daven Shacharit (say the morning prayers), which I feel bad about, as I was awake, I just literally could not move.
It’s now the evening. I lost most of the day to that drained feeling. I did eventually get dressed and do some things, but I was unable to go for a jog as I intended. I did go for a walk and do some shopping, which was boring but necessary. I did some Torah study, although not as much as I would have liked. More enjoyably, I spent an hour and a half working on my Doctor Who book, writing about 1,500 words, which was very productive. I’m writing about the era of the mid-seventies (broadly, the stories script edited by Robert Holmes and produced by Philip Hinchcliffe), the most popular period of the classic series with fans and the only era of the classic series to consistently rival the new series in ‘best story’ polls, so I feel an obligation both to do justice to the era and to try to say something new about it (well, I want to do both those things in the whole of my book, but particularly here), which can be difficult as in many ways it is a fairly straightforward period in terms of its aims and influences especially when compared with the three or four following years which were more complex in their intentions and allusions and more controversial in their reception.
I wanted to go back to what I blogged yesterday and expand on it a bit, but I’m too tired to write any more. Maybe tomorrow, if I get time in amongst catching up with the chores I was supposed to do today. I suppose today wasn’t a total waste – in some ways it was very productive, at least in terms of catching up on the big backlog of notes for my book – but I wish I could have done more. It is what it is, I suppose, but what is is wrong, as the Doctor said. So, dinner and more of the DVD of the 2007 RSC production of King Lear with Sir Ian McKellen as Lear and Sylvester McCoy as a slightly Doctorish Fool (in a good way); at least I’m feeling not-depressed enough for Elizabethan tragedy as I’ve had the DVD sitting on my shelves for weeks if not months now. To be honest, I’m not sure I’m well enough to completely follow it, especially as it’s some time since I read or saw the play, but the acting is of a very high standard.