We’re sitting in the sukkah and I’m feeling pleased that I’m not too anxious when Dad suddenly announces that he’s forgotten to remove the removable roof that protects it from the rain when we’re not in it. This means that we haven’t technically been sitting in the sukkah, in a halakhic sense, because there is supposed to be only a foliage cover through which the sky can be seen, not a proper roof. I had assumed the roof was off when I came out because everyone was already sitting there and eating.
I suppose there is a funny side to this, but I find it hard to see it. I just feel really guilty that I was eating bread outside the sukkah on Sukkot when I shouldn’t have been. This is the kind of thing that sends me spiralling back down into depression and OCD anxiety. I see everything as my responsibility and my fault even when it isn’t and I assume that God is going to be angry with me.