I forgot the most important bit of my last post:
I really need a holiday, even though I’m not a great one for travelling. My relaxation at the moments consists of reading a few pages of a novel on my commute home, pressed against other commuters in the horrors of the London Underground at rush hour, if I can even manage that with the crush and my exhaustion and depression, and watching an episode or two of Doctor Who (old-style 25 minute episodes). I know asking for a holiday seems a bit much when I’ve been off work so much in the last two months or so, but taking time off for Yom Tov is actually very stressful (you probably can’t appreciate the extent of that if you aren’t Jewish and/or don’t suffer from depression or social anxiety or are on the autistic spectrum) and my ‘holiday’ at half-term mostly consisted of me feeling lonely and depressed and sleeping too much. So I feel I need a more constructive and restorative break. Shabbat helps, but its effects only last so long.