There is so much I want to say here sometimes, and so much that I can’t say because it will hurt other people or because it will probably hurt me or at least make people think badly of me (and rightly so).  I think I write because I think writing will stop things hurting or at least provide some release, but it doesn’t really.  I want to get a response, more than just likes, but on the rare occasions I get a comment, they don’t help much either.  I suppose they can’t, as I want people to agree with me that my life is awful and I’m awful, but also to contradict me and tell me that the future will be good.  Maybe on some level I think that if I write about my fears for the future, they won’t materialise.  Maybe I even think that if I write about my past it will unhappen.  It’s no good though.  The past is set in stone and no one has yet reassured me that my worst fears for the future won’t happen.  “But at my back I always hear/Time’s wingèd chariot hurrying near”  The future is coming, and sooner than you think…

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One thought on “Get Out of That

  1. Even though you feel like a dusty blind cave bat,drag yourself to the gym or go on a run even though you don’t want to! take a cold shower! Clean up your house , There’s an idea that your external living quarters are a representation of your inner landscape and when your your apartment or house is clean you can move in a positive direction . Challenge yourself and find goals. I dont want these self depricating blog posts. writting blog posts makes you smarter your externalizing your thoughts and self eddting them what an amazing tool! Ill folow your blog if you make and effort to fight this demon we call depresion . Fredrick Neitche talks aboutthe Ubermench and that if what you start doing is genuinely aiming for is the highest possible good then the things that you need to survive and to thrive will deliver themselves to you. Or you could say that . If you dare to do the most challenging thing you can conceptualize then life will work out for the better . FIght this demon and challenge yourself!

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