I wasn’t planning on writing today. A few things happened over Shabbat (the Sabbath), but I was going to leave them until tomorrow or later. I slept through too much of the day again and am not tired now (it’s midnight as I begin to type), but that’s a minor thing. But then I read a post on a blog I follow that upset me.
I won’t link to the blog as I comment there under my own name. But it’s the blog of someone else Jewish very much like me: frum (religious) upbringing, but I think not currently frum, but severely depressed, lonely, social anxious, autistic and possibly also with OCD. Also PTSD from being abused in hospital, which I don’t have. She is currently very depressed and suicidal. I have been praying for her for some months, since finding out how depressed she is, and hoping that things will improve for her because I know exactly what she is going through. I comment on her blog when she posts, which is very irregularly, but she never responds and I worry that I am making things worse, although I’m not sure how I would be doing that.
It’s very frustrating seeing her like that and knowing that there is nothing I can do to help her. I’m reluctant to give her my email address in case she misinterprets and given that she has never responded, I doubt she would want to email me anyway. I just wish there was something I could do to help her. I guess I know how my family and friends feel about me now.