I feel terrible right now, despairing and self-loathing.  I wish I wasn’t a delicate snowflake (in the fragile sense, not the political sense) who gets upset by everything.  I know life has to be hard so that we grow, but I wish it didn’t have to hurt quite so much, so much of the time.  I wish I could be happy for more than a couple of months at a time, before being separated by several years of depression and things going wrong.  I wish I could have the everyday happiness that other people seem to get, even when things are hard.  I wish I could cope with disappointment and failure better.  I wish I could just deal with things the way other people are able to do, to just get up and get a new job, a new home, a new life.  And I wish I didn’t blame myself for everything.

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2 thoughts on “The Sky Falls

  1. If by snowflake you mean too sensitive then I can say that you’re this way because you really care about what’s happening and there’s nothing wrong with that. What you need to learn is to feel grateful for everything in your life and find joy instead of happiness.

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  2. Yes, that was what I meant.

    I was feeling grateful for my life going well, but now suddenly it’s all collapsing and seems beyond repair and it’s hard to feel grateful for that.

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