Just a quick note before I go to bed:

I went to depression group this evening.  I wasn’t sure that I felt well enough to say anything and I was seriously considering remaining silent, the first time I’ve been anxious enough at a meeting to do that, I think.  However, I did speak and it turned out to be very helpful.  I spoke about my job interview and the presentation I’ve been stuck on for days now.  People felt that I was interpreting the question too narrowly.  My Dad and E. said the same thing.  To be honest, I’m not entirely sure they are all right, as the question does seem quite precisely worded to me, but I feel there’s enough reasonable doubt for me to interpret the question in a wider way without coming across as a complete idiot (only a partial idiot).  I will try to write something over the next few days and get to the interview, treat it as interview practice and try not to think of them laughing at me the minute I leave the interview room.

I also spoke about the autism screening and people were generally supportive of that too.  Someone said if I feel strongly that I’m autistic after doing research, that it’s a good fit for me, that’s a sign that I am autistic.  I have now asked for an appointment for an autism screening.  Again, I’m somewhat apprehensive, fearing wasting their time and that I might end up with a negative or inconclusive result as in the past, but perhaps I understand myself, and autism, better than at my last assessment ten years ago and can give clearer and fuller answers.

***

One job I’ve just seen advertised, for an assistant librarian at a private school for girls, has “A healthy sense of humour” as a requirement for candidates.  I wonder what that says about the students – and staff? – at the school.  I have visions of St Trinians…

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8 thoughts on “Quick Note: Depression Group, Job Interview and Autism Screening

  1. Adult autism diagnosis is notoriously underdeveloped in the eyes of many in the autism world, I gather. I think you are onto something even if the medical professionals you have seen so far don’t. I’m glad you are feeling better after depression group, anyway.

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    1. Thanks. Yes, adult diagnosis in my experience seems tricky. It’s hard to recall behaviour and thought-processes from childhood, while my behaviour now may be distorted by coping mechanisms I’ve learnt, often learning how to imitate neurotypical behaviour cognitively rather than doing it intuitively (in fact, I suspect I was clever enough to do that as a child, which was how I passed as neurotypical for so long).

      Of course, I’ve read so much on autism in the last few years that I could be unconsciously influenced in the other direction, I suppose, unwittingly adopting autistic traits to get a diagnosis.

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      1. Have u got any old school reports? That can often be a good way to provide another’s perspective of how you presented as a child.
        You sound like things are on the up; well done for persevering with these many facets of your life!

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          1. Just things that appear often, like you mentioned ‘very quiet’. Maybe ie ‘has trouble making friends / is a perfectionist / only has an interest in one or two topics’ etc. things a teacher might notice without realising what it could mean. If it’s persistent or caused difficulty for you or others at school then it wld most likely be mentioned in a report.
            Just it’s hard I think to look back objectively at our own childhood experiences and it can help if coming from a record from the past rather than a memory of it. If that makes sense?!

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  2. The job situation is abysmal isn’t it? I am unemployed and have been rejected for over 30 jobs in the last year. I have been applying for librarian posts as I am qualified, but still no luck and I think it is my autistic mind that is hindering me. I mean that in the sense that you mention; perhaps taking things too literally or not expanding on the question. I do have the habit of forcing my special interests into the interviews though even when they are not relevant. It’s a way to calm me, but doesn’t give the right impression. I was diagnosed just over a year ago, so remember the assessment well. Happy to answer any questions if you have any. Have you had an assessment before or did I misunderstand that?

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  3. Thanks. Yes, I have had two previous assessments, over ten years ago. I was told that I have a lot of symptoms, but not broken down in the right way across diagnostic categories, but I feel I know myself and autism better now and would mention things now that strike me as autistic, which at the time I thought were normal or didn’t even notice in myself.

    Good luck with the job hunt.

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