I had a job interview today, for a position in a higher education library. I think I did OK, but not great. I did manage to answer all of the questions, but I struggled to think of specific examples of the things they were asking for. My autistic mind tends to go blank when confronted with a sudden request to “Tell me about a time when you dealt with a difficult situation” or whatever. The first question, just to make it harder, was to tell them about a time I received good customer service, which seemed a strange thing to ask.
So, I didn’t answer the questions that well, but they let slip that my CV looks good to them. Which should be positive, but while they were describing the role, I was thinking that this position sounds a lot like my role in further education, just with slightly older students. I did OKish there, but my boss was unhappy with my work and I often felt overwhelmed by the interactions I was supposed to have with staff and especially with students. When someone would come to me with a problem, I would freeze before my brain moved into gear to work out how to deal with it, which is an autistic multitasking/task changing issue, but it suggests this type of environment isn’t right for me.
Plus, this job is full-time (unlike the further education one, which was three and then four days a week, term-time only) with occasional evening and weekend work, which I doubt I could manage right now with my mental health, even without the problem of Shabbat and Yom Tov (Sabbath and Jewish festivals). Plus sudden evening work is not good for my autistic need for predictability.
I got shown the library. I’m sure someone who temped in the further education library I worked at when we were short-staffed was working there, although I didn’t say anything as (a) I’m too shy and (b) I can’t remember what her name is. I guess librarianship, like the Jewish community and Doctor Who fandom, is a small world. (Don’t ask why I seem to gravitate to small worlds.)
I’m not sure what to do now. I’m exhausted after this, and after days of rushing around doing Pesach stuff (preparation, then shul and seders and ‘peopleing’) and then a day lost to extreme depression. I’m not as depressed as I was yesterday, but I am worn out. I just spray painted some new Doctor Who miniatures I bought with white undercoat, but that didn’t take long and I won’t be able to move on with them until the paint is dry. I might assemble the as-yet unassembled Daleks once they’re dry, but I don’t think I’ll get much further than that today (frustratingly I also ran out of paint before I could paint the TARDIS).
I don’t want to work on my books on Chol HaMoed (the intermediate, semi-festive, days of Pesach). I might watch a film if I can decide whether to watch Ghostbusters II for the umpteenth time as ‘comfort food’ viewing or The King’s Speech, which I’ve never seen, but have been told is very good.
I also feel vaguely ill: dry itchy eyes, slightly sore throat, a bit hot and bothered and achey, as if I’m coming down with a cold.
L., who I was set up with via the values-based dating service and who I’ve been texting lately as we can’t meet until after Pesach, asked what I’m doing today after my interview. I’m not sure how much to open up about myself and my hobbies (mental health blogging, Doctor Who, miniature painting), all of which could describe what I’m doing/about to do today. I worry about seeming weird. I have a weird intuition that she would be understanding about mental health stuff, but I don’t want to bring it up this early in the relationship, when we haven’t even been on a date yet. So Doctor Who and painting it is. She hasn’t texted back yet, so I don’t know if she thinks I’m a weird freak… I wish there were some things in my life that I could talk about on dates or to people at shul (synagogue) without sounding weird or messed up.