You may have guessed from recent posts that there has been ‘Drama’ in my life, not of the good kind. A couple of friends broke up with me (if that’s the right expression) and did so in a very angry and hurtful way. I don’t particularly want to go into that now, not least so that I don’t say something I regret later, as I’m feeling a lot of anger, hurt and confusion. But I wanted to ask my blog readers, particularly those who also blog mental health stuff, a couple of questions, primarily to make sure that I’m not missing some key social cue or behaviour.
- Is it considered acceptable to write on your blog in a non-identifiable, non-critical way, about people in your life, e.g. “I saw a friend for lunch today”?
- Is it insulting to say that after seeing said friend you were tired, in the context of a blog that makes clear that you have ongoing problems with tiredness for health reasons?
- How much should one talk about one’s own problems on one’s blog?
In terms of the third question, I know I have (as my friends put it) a “whiny, self-obsessed blog”. I write for myself, to help me process my thoughts and emotions, which I find difficult because of depression and autism. I put my writing in the public sphere not because I think I’m super important, but because I can’t write a private diary, for whatever reason (I’ve tried). I need to feel like I’m talking to someone else. Given that most of my posts get a few likes, I’m assuming there are a small number of people here who get something out of my thoughts about struggling with autism and mental illness; a few people have told me as much – that it provides insight into their own struggles or some other benefit. I don’t try to get people to read my blog; most of my real-life friends don’t even know about its existence.
I feel I’m slipping into paranoia, second-guessing my actions and trying to work out if I’m behaving in an acceptable fashion or if I’ve brought all this down on my own head. Wondering whether any of my other friends are going to suddenly turn around, accuse me of selfishness and say they can’t cope with my issues any more. Sadly, a number of friends in the past have not been able to cope with my issues and I begin to wonder how I will keep the friends I still have.