Just a quick observation as I have a busy day tomorrow: I had a normal Shabbat (Sabbath): insomnia on Friday night, oversleeping and missing shul (synagogue) this morning, sleeping and reading all afternoon, then shul in the evening BUT this time I tried to talk to people at shul during seudah (the meal between the Afternoon and Evening services) and to answer questions during the Talmud shiur (religious class).  I didn’t actually say anything, but I nearly did, which is better than in the past!  I still have a long way to go.

(EDIT: I just remembered that I did say something: the rabbi asked if I had gone on holiday this summer and rather than just saying “No” as I would normally do, I said “No, I’m going after the Yom Tovim (festivals later in the year) for a bar mitzvah” which is practically a whole speech compared to my normal silent self.  So that’s something.)

The funny thing is, I am slightly bolder about communicating with people online than in person – not much, but a bit.  And people online seem to think I say things that are intelligent, insightful or funny.  But it’s hard to accept that people in the real world might feel like that about anything I say.  I’m not sure what makes it easier to communicate in one way than the other, except that I don’t have to see people’s reactions online.  Or it could be that when I was a child I was bullied or told to be quiet when I expressed opinions in person, but didn’t have any online interactions (as the internet was still in its infancy), so I never “learnt” that my online opinions could be bad  That’s perhaps less likely as I do still have something of a filter online: I usually lurk on a site or blog for some time before commenting, and then only tentatively at first.

It’s something for me to think about anyway.  I’ve got a whole week to psyche myself up to talking at shul next Shabbat

4 thoughts on “Speaking vs. Commenting

  1. Well done answering the rabbi’s question.

    One thing I like about online communication is that it’s generally okay to have a delay in responding, whereas in person there’s an expectation to come up with a response fairly quickly.

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  2. Yes, I like that. When someone talks to me in person, half the time I have to ask them to repeat because my autistic mind is still doing whatever it was doing and hasn’t realised that someone has spoken yet; then the social anxiety makes me panic about what constitutes a ‘safe’ answer, so there tends to be a communication lag which is awkward.

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  3. I agree with you both. I know that when I’m depressed, I prefer to text rather than speak on the phone. I get anxious when the phone rings, as it takes me longer to process what people are saying, and giving an appropriate response.
    Texting gives me time to think about the conversation.

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