I had insomnia again last night, but not as bad as previous nights, in that I fell asleep after an hour or so. However, once I fell asleep, I slept for eleven hours, which messed up my schedule before the day had even started.
I had another job rejection. Also, an agency sent me a possible job that’s a library assistant position (not assistant librarian, which is what I’m looking for and is very different) again. I’m annoyed that they keep sending me these jobs I’m overqualified for. I did feel desperate enough to consider it, but it’s only for two months and it’s a lot of stuff I am not good at, particularly sitting on the issue desk dealing with students. It seems like a lot of stress for a two month fill-in job that won’t even look good on my CV. My parents want me to apply for it, though. They say it would be money and I don’t have to put it on my CV. I think there’s a self-esteem issue about telling people I’m working as a library assistant not a librarian. It’s like an unemployed doctor filling in as a nurse. Plus, I don’t think I can cope with spending most of my day, for three consecutive days (Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday) on the issue desk dealing with students. On the other hand, I am desperate. Why does life hand me so many challenges like this?
I sent a chasing email about the religious library position where I essentially pitched what I could do, but have been left hanging on, waiting to hear which option, if any, the institution is willing to go for. I hate writing such emails and asking for work, but I need to know one way or the other what is happening there so I can decide what other work to look for. I got an email back saying that I would hear tomorrow. I agree with my Dad that it’s not good that they made me wait this long; if they wanted me, in whatever capacity, they would have told me by now. I suspect when I mentioned the cost of a trained librariane that they came to the conclusion that I really came to early on, that an institution this small can’t really afford a paid librarian, even part-time.
I went for a run before lunch, as I did yesterday. I found my stamina still seemed low and like yesterday I walked more than I have been doing recently, which may be the winter and the fact that I only used by SAD lamp for twenty minutes beforehand. I did at least have a reasonable pace according to my iPod, equal to or better than all the runs I’ve had in the last month. I also worked some more on my novel, which seems to be coming along reasonably well at the moment, writing 600 words in about forty-five minutes.
Our Haredi (ultra-Orthodox) next door neighbours’ daughter got married today. She must be about half my age. Fortunately, this didn’t really bother me the way it would have in the past, likewise with the friend my age who I discovered yesterday had a daughter in the summer. As I said yesterday, I think of myself as being in a parallel universe where things like marriage and children don’t happen to me, only to other people.