I think my job interview this morning went quite well. I got a bit put off by the multiple images on the video conference, especially when I could see myself talking. They didn’t ask any questions about my presentation, which hopefully means it was amazing and not terrible! It sounded like a nice place to work and the panel (of four) were very friendly and I think I connected with them quite well, which is good. Flexible working is a possibility, including working part-time or from home, which is very encouraging, although they sounded a bit unsure about part-time. The work sounds interesting, although I still suffer from confidence problems about accuracy in technical library jobs. I used to be really accurate, but then at jobs in unsuitable environments, I became inaccurate, and now I’ve lost my confidence. I answered all the questions in the interview, but some I definitely answered better than others. I can’t always think of responses including concrete examples from my life/work experience, which may be an autistic thing on several levels. I did try to force myself to give such examples, but one or two questions I just answered in the abstract because I couldn’t think of examples. I should hear back on 12 October.

I had therapy afterwards, but had time to kill before then. I was too tired to do much. I watched another episode of The Civil War, Ken Burns’ documentary on the American Civil War, which I started watching on DVD a few weeks ago after watching Lincoln. It’s a good documentary series, but was really too heavy-going for post-job interview viewing, especially as the episode I was watching was over an hour and a half long, and also focused mainly on the battles rather than the politics and the personalities of the major figures, which I am more interested in.

I tried to go for a walk after lunch, but literally seconds after I stepped out, it started to rain heavily so I beat a hasty retreat indoors.

I didn’t have much to say in therapy, mostly because things seem to be going well. I haven’t had much to say for a couple of weeks, as things have mostly been OK, but I don’t want to cancel the sessions just yet, as some issues may come up associated with the potential new job or dating. I brought this up in therapy and we agreed to move from a weekly session to a fortnightly one, which I think is a good idea for the moment.

I tried to do some Torah study between therapy and dinner. As I was too tired to read (again), I listened to another online shiur. It was on piyyutim (Medieval Jewish liturgical poetry) and was really designed to be listened to before Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur (Jewish New Year and Day of Atonement), to prepare for the prayers, although as I davened (prayed) at home this year and skipped most of the piyyutim it probably wouldn’t have made much practical difference to me. It was an interesting shiur, but an hour on Medieval liturgical poetry was probably at least fifteen minutes too long for me, certainly on such a depleting day as today.

***

I did something I rarely do, which is to write an angry comment somewhere. It was on an article on Unherd, about mental illness in the young, which made some valid points about over-prescription of drugs and treating ordinary negative emotions as pathological, but whose author wrapped her message in a shell of stigma, using the words “mad” and “madness” to describe the mentally ill four times in one article. The author’s biography describes her as a campaigner against sexual violence; I’m really surprised that she fails to grasp that many mental illness sufferers are also survivors of violence and abuse, and that’s why they’re mentally ill. I am somewhat worried about receiving negative comments, but I had to get my thoughts off my chest because it was really annoying me.

14 thoughts on “Interview and After

  1. I’m so glad that it went well! I tried to read your comment but it was behind some kind of pay wall. (or I would have to join something?) Anyway, sometimes it’s important to write an angry comment; otherwise you would (possibly) fume over it and feel that you had condoned that opinion. However, I need to stay off the comment sections of news sites because it’s so depressing and frustrating.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. It’s not a pay wall but you do have to sign up to the site. This is what I wrote:

      There are legitimate grounds to talk about ordinary emotions being seen as pathological, the over-prescription of medication and the creeping therapy-speak of everyday life; even more so to talk about the loneliness and social atomisation of modern existence. But I’m not sure that someone who uses the words “mad” and “madness” four times in one article grasps that depression, anxiety and other mental illnesses are real, that they claim lives, that they can’t all be cured by socialising more (being part of a close-knit religious community didn’t help me, and in some ways made things worse) and that they are hard enough to live with without throwing imprecise and stigmatising words like “mad” at sufferers.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I read the article you referred to on Unherd. I did not search for your comment cause I just ran out of emotional energy cause the article did make me feel sad and angry. You are right that it’s bizarre that someone claiming to advocate for those who have experienced sexual violence would be as insensitive and unaware of the real issues as she seems to be. She obviously hasn’t suffered a great deal of violence personally or she has extremely thick skin. This is why I believe faith in God is so vital for those of us who ever have mental health struggles. I understand if people need to step away from organized religion as that can often be a source of abuse. What I mean is that the secular world doesn’t seem to have compassionate believable answers or comfort. Their explanations often include abusive terms like “biological taint” and “madness”. The only thing that helps me make sense of it all are the Scriptures and ongoing dialogue with a loving God. And of course others who suffer. I am madly in love with these words from the prophet Isaiah (50):
    The Sovereign Lord has given me a well-instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary. He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being instructed. The Sovereign Lord has opened my ears; I have not been rebellious, I have not turned away. I offered my back to those who beat me, my cheeks to those who pulled out my beard; I did not hide my face from mocking and spitting.” This is the suffering servant. He knows abuse and therefore he has words for weary ones who themselves have been abused and struggle with mental illness. Like you I can’t help getting angry sometimes and posting comments in places where self appointed experts are only making things worse. It just shows that you are better equipped from your struggles to encourage the struggling and that is the fruit that God is bringing out of your suffering for others.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. So glad the interview went well. Whatever happens now, you can be pleased that you gave and showed your best, and hopefully this will be an encouragement for any future interviews. … Re the Unherd article — agree with your comments — but think you were very restrained (unlike Ashley!). I’ve commented too.

    Liked by 3 people

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