Yom Tov (festival) was quiet. It feels odd not to have another Yom Tov on the horizon after a month of one after another. I went to shul (synagogue) on Friday evening. It was OK, but I still feel very anxious there and it’s hard to distinguish social anxiety from autistic “new situation” anxiety (mid-COVID). Wearing a mask for so long is uncomfortable too.

That was it, really. I stayed at home. We davened (prayed) and ate and slept. I did some Torah study. I had a migraine last night and threw up a little. I tried not to think about the job rejection; occasionally I had negative thoughts about my future and my apparent inability to get or hold down a job like a “normal” person. I dreamt about the boss from a previous job, one who I didn’t like and who said she was disappointed in me and my failure to learn the job as well or as fast as she expected. I dreamt about her being my teacher at school. I don’t remember much else of the dream, except that there were giant speaking dogs, for some reason.

I slept for two hours in the afternoon today, which I didn’t really want to do. Because of that, I’m probably too awake, or was until just now. Since Yom Tov ended, I’ve been going through emails and blog posts (so many build up in just two days), eating dinner and then polishing silver for my parents, trying to tire myself out. I’m watching the last episode of Star Trek Voyager. Voyager is not the greatest Star Trek series by any means, but somehow it’s been ideal pandemic viewing, unchallenging and reassuring with a strong family feel among the crew who seem to be able forgive each other for any misbehaviour.

9 thoughts on “Notes from a Quiet Yom Tov (Short Post)

  1. Wow, that dream is very interesting. Did you catch what the giant speaking dog’s were saying? Were they like your boss/ teacher and judging your performance? In ancient times images of dogs were used in art to represent foreigners and those who were far off and outsiders. And the Canaanites were depicted as giants. Maybe your boss was a teacher in that she was showing you what it feels like to be an outsider instead of “normal”.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I don’t remember what the dogs were saying. To be honest, I don’t usually remember much of my dreams. I don’t know is my boss was directly judging my performance, but it felt like she was in a position of authority over me. To be honest, in real life she made me feel something of an outsider and not normal so you could be right.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I love hearing other people’s dreams. It’s sort of like eavesdropping on what God is saying to them. Last night I dreamt that I was reading the Bible of evil. When I got up this morning several posts of people I was following on my wordpress reader were beyond vile. I quickly unfollowed these individuals. Makes me think of these words from Job 33 “For God does speak—now one way, now another—though no one perceives it. In a dream, in a vision of the night (wait, isn’t that your blog name?) when deep sleep falls on people as they slumber in their beds, He may speak in their ears”

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I think relating my dreams here is a risky thing, because some people are interested, but others find them very boring, so I mostly only do so in passing or if I think it’s particularly insightful or amusing.

          I’m sorry you saw those upsetting posts. I find social media as a whole can be a minefield at the moment.

          n a dream, in a vision of the night (wait, isn’t that your blog name?)

          Yes, that’s where I got it from. 🙂 I wanted something religious, but mental health-sounding.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. I definitely prefer hearing about your dreams instead of a lot of the other dark stuff people seem to be writing about. And it’s true that some of my dreams I just laugh about and don’t take too seriously cause I know they are a product of eating too late at night.

            Liked by 1 person

  2. I never got into “Voyager.” Perhaps it’s time to give it another try. I disliked “Deep Space 9” because of the Ferengi, which I find ultra annoying. I seem to be remembering my dreams much more than in normal times. I wonder if that means I’m sleeping poorly.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s