I think I may have overdone things on Friday. I went to shul (synagogue), which was quite good, at least by COVID standards. We went out for Lecha Dodi so we could sing it, as currently singing is only permitted outside. I sat with one of my shul friends who I hadn’t really seen for months. I do find shul hard at the moment and it’s hard to tell why. I don’t like wearing a mask, I know, but somehow the lack of talking and atmosphere affects me in a way that I did not expect. It feels like I needed the social aspect of shul to be there in the background, even though I did not like being involved in it myself, and even though it sometimes fed my social anxiety.

I came home and we went straight into dinner, then I did some Torah study for an hour or so. I was going to read a novel before bed, but I was too tired to read more than a couple of pages. Maybe I needed more downtime, as I got a headache today that reduced the amount of Torah study I did this afternoon. I didn’t really do much today because of that, just half an hour of Torah study and prayers. I slept for an hour and a half after lunch, which I didn’t want to do, but I was too tired to fight against it.

I guess it’s not surprising if the headache is a physical symptom of burnout, as I was busy all week last week and Shabbat (the Sabbath/Saturday) was my first day off. Tomorrow is set to be busy too, with a date with PIMOJ and then home for a Zoom meeting with my shul community. The shul has never had premises of it’s own, currently renting spaces in other institutions. There is the possibility of buying some land that would enable us to have a custom-built building, but obviously finance is a big question for a small community like ours, hence the meeting. I’m not sure how much of it will interest me bearing in mind (a) financial stuff tends to go over my head and (b) settings don’t matter so much to me, but I felt I ought to show my face and take an interest to be part of the community.

6 thoughts on “400 Word Post

  1. An hour and a half nap is great in my mind. I hate it when for me a nap turns into 4 hours and throws my whole schedule off. I know what you mean about wishing there was the background noise of other people talking even if you’re not joining in. This was the positive for me during the few years my kids and I were at my parents. I need a lot of alone and quiet time. Most people would call it excessive and anti-social but I like the noise of other people being in the house even if I am totally ignoring them. My kids are the same. They constantly communicate “Don’t leave me! But don’t expect me to talk!” 🙂

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  2. It seems like you took care of what you needed to, and also yourself by having a nap. I can’t nap because I always wake up feeling worse than when I started. Hope the date goes well!

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  3. Man, now I miss singing Lecha Dodi and Kabbalat Shabbat (the Zoom version just does not seem to work for me, scheduling-wise or spiritually) at all. It will be so weird to go back to shul, I think. The social aspect is definitely a part of the experience.

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