I struggled to sleep last night. I probably slept too much during the day. I finally fell asleep after 2am, then woke around 9.00am after an anxiety dream. I don’t really remember the content of the dream, just that I woke a bit anxious and very burnt out, but somehow I managed to get up. I said some of the morning prayers on time, which was good, although I skipped a lot of prayers because I felt so tired, more than I would usually skip if I got up so early and did not need to leave early.

I went on a date with PIMOJ. We were supposed to go on a date in town on Thursday and PIMOJ had already booked time off work, but then the new lockdown was announced and we hurriedly rearranged for today so that we could see each other one more time before the lockdown. I didn’t really want to go into town, given that infection rates are rising, so we went to the same park we went to on our previous three dates. Even I, with my autistic predilection for the familiar, found this a bit much, but we both agreed it was the best option available. Fortunately, we managed to go to another part of the park, a wooded area that was quite tranquil, although very muddy and slippery in places. We enjoyed each other’s company and I was glad to go out in nature, which I think I have needed to do for a long, long time – it helped me to calm and focus, I think. We also found a pergola, which I had been to before, but forgotten was in this park, so that was a nice surprise. Afterwards we went for a coffee.

I think I spoke more than on our last date. I was nervous at first, more so than on previous dates, but I think that was a product of opening up a bit more about myself and my world, being more willing to voice a differing opinion and so on. There was a slightly awkward moment at the end, but it led to an important text conversation afterwards and I think we’re in a good place right now.

And now we have to freeze for a month (at least). Fortunately there is Skype and instant messenger!

Other than that I didn’t do much today, an hour of Torah study and not much else. I feel a little ill now, achey and with some stomach cramps as well as quite hot although that’s common in the winter because my parents like the house warmer than I do. I hope I’m just tired and not coming down with something.

***

It’s been a busy few days, but when not busy, I’ve drifted into political thoughts again about the craziness in the world, this time about the Labour antisemitism scandal which has resurfaced again (first time as tragedy, second time as farce, so Karl Marx was right about one thing) and the religious murders in France. I don’t really feel that I have much original to say, and I don’t really want to get into an argument about them, so I stay silent, but there is a price to pay for silence in terms of silently carrying tension and sometimes anger. Sometimes I feel I might change someone’s mind if I spoke up, but that seems to happen so rarely in online discussions that there hardly seems any point.

So, TV to try to relax, and bed.

14 thoughts on “Last-Minute Date

  1. It sounds like your date went really well in spite of everything. I’m glad! Having the courage to express a differing opinion is so good. And awkward moments are good if they lead to more communication. Hopefully you are right and a good nights sleep will keep you from coming down with something. You have me curious about the political stuff you mentioned ie Labour antisemitism scandal so I will just have to look that up.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Okay in Canada we have the Progressive Conservatives, the Liberals, the NDP, and the Green Party. I’m thinking the Labour Party is most like the NDP party but I’m not sure. It sounds like from what I read that it’s the same old problem of people thinking racism and antisemitism aren’t really serious issues and that people just need to lighten up. Everyone’s always convinced that they are more enlightened and civilized then their ancestors until it’s too late.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. The Labour Party scandal was a huge thing that has been going for years. It’s more that they take racism very seriously, but don’t take antisemitism seriously at all, at least when it’s not coming from the far-right; they say that they’re “anti-racists” therefore they can’t be antisemites, end of story. There’s been a lot of antisemitism disguised (often not very effectively) as criticism of Israel which is where the whole argument started.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. In my opinion, no party or country is above criticism when warranted. I hide my head in shame at how Trump is representing (not really) the U.S. but then I remember how many people show up at his rallies, and how many have voted and will vote for him. I’m not saying that there isn’t racism/anti-Semitism on both sides, but it is certainly more open and condoned on the right, at least here. I’m very glad that the date went well and that you’re communicating more deeply with each other. That’s a great sign!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Left antisemitism is different here, on the far-left and manifesting mostly online. You wouldn’t necessarily notice it unless you were either part of the far-left or reading the Jewish press.

      Like

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