I didn’t intend to write today, but I need to vent. I had another round of wild goose chases with the NHS. To cut a very long story short, I had a text that seemed to be changing the time of my psychiatrist appointment in December, but which seems in reality to refer to a meeting about my autism assessment which we were not actually told about previously. The appointment is also probably intended for my Mum rather than me. We still have not got to the bottom of it (the NHS being unable to organise the proverbial drinking party in a brewery), but just the thought that the Maudsley Hospital (which does the autism assessments) want to talk to Mum again has raised all kinds of fears about not “really” being autistic – or worse, that they will want to confirm my childhood behaviour with her, but she won’t remember or will say I didn’t exhibit certain autistic behaviours because I masked them so well that she never noticed them or because they were low-key and dismissed as personal idiosyncrasies and forgotten over time, it being well over twenty years since I could really be classed as a child. We don’t really have time to investigate further today because Shabbat starts soon, so I’m likely to worry all over the weekend.

10 thoughts on “Mini-Post: Venting/Worrying

  1. I think the fact that the Maudsley want to talk with your mum again, indicates that they do think you are on the spectrum, and they want a more comprehensive history of your development from her.
    If they had ruled out autism, they wouldn’t bother going down that avenue, in my opinion.
    Try and stay in the present, and not worry about the future.
    Shabbat Shalom.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Hoping that it will all work out! As people constantly tell me, worrying won’t change the outcome. Easier said than done! I agree with your first commenter that if they’d ruled it out, they would have no further need to talk to your mother.

    Liked by 2 people

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