I was worried about neglecting my novel in my new job, so I forced myself to find forty minutes or so to work on it before Shabbat (the Sabbath) on Friday and another hour and a bit afterward Shabbat today. When I step back from it, I get vaguely worried about it not being good enough, but I’m just focused on moving forward for now. PIMOJ has been desperate to read it and I’ve agreed to show her the second draft, even though I already know there will be big things to fix after that.

I’m currently going through the whole novel and redrafting it for the second draft. I have another two chapters to do with that, which I know will include some major rewrites to the remainder of the book, more than any rewriting I’ve done so far. I do worry that I haven’t actually rewritten much, a few big changes, but mostly tweaking. After that, there are specific bits I want to add or change for the third draft. I do feel that I haven’t changed that much yet though. If “writing is re-writing,” I’m not doing it very well. Hmmm.

***

Shabbat was OK, quite a lot of Torah study and too much sleep. I woke up early, but couldn’t get up, I’m not sure why. I am getting frustrated and worried by my sleep situation. I had a dream which I can’t remember in detail, but I think involved me expressing anger to God about the way my life has gone, particularly in terms of career. I also felt, but did not express, anger about not being married. Rabbi Lord Sacks was in the dream, probably because there have been so many eulogies for him lately, and because I was thinking I lost my opportunity to speak to him. Not that there ever was a concrete opportunity, just that I never spoke to him and now he’s gone.

I had an impromptu video call with PIMOJ after Shabbat too, which was good. That was it really.

8 thoughts on “

  1. I’m glad you are considering having PIMOJI read some of your book. Hopefully it will take away some of the fear of it not being very good. I got really angry at someone today and of course it really feels “sinful”. But I’m not sure I would have been a better person to hold it in. It would have still been there. The person asked me “Why does it always have to be like this? Why can’t it ever be fun with you?” But I can’t be fun when I don’t get to be angry. I’m pretty sure God wants every part of you even if you need to be asleep to get that honest.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. PIMOJ sounds like a good friend ,which is a good basis for future partnership.
    By showing her the draft of your novel, you are opening up to her , and trusting her , as she is the first person you’ve shown it to.
    This aspect of your life is progressing very well, I think !

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m glad that you’ve decided to share the draft with PIMOJ; it feels like the relationship is progressing well and you’re becoming more open with each other. It sounds like a good day.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Interesting that this is perhaps the only post I’ve ever seen of yours that didn’t have a title. I imagine you were very tired. Sounds like things are going quite well. I’m glad.

    Like

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