So, on we go to Tier 4 (in COVID restriction regulations), the COVID equivalent of “It goes up to eleven.” Apparently, I can still meet one person from not in my household if we meet outside, which means PIMOJ and I can still go out tomorrow, which is good, but Mum and Dad were hoping to have dinner in my sister’s garden later in the week, which is now forbidden.

I can’t actually remember much of what happened over Shabbat (the Sabbath). I was really tired on Friday, but forced myself to do my usual chores and get to shul (synagogue) on time. I still don’t like shul with COVID restrictions, but it’s good to go once a week. I read a lot, a lot of religious reading and some recreational reading, mostly Doctor Who Magazine, the current issue and also the twenty-four year old back issue I bought recently. I enjoyed the back issue a lot; the current one, more moderately. I read a bit of the book I’m reading at the moment, America During the Cold War, a reader on American history in the Cold War era, but I’ve been struggling to get into it so far.

I did have a dream that upset me a bit. I can’t remember the details now, and I wouldn’t go into them if I could, but it was bringing up things I’ve been feeling guilty about recently. Ashley asked recently if I think all my dreams are trying to tell me something; this is a good example of one that I do not think is telling me something, but is just processing recent thoughts and conversations, but it was still uncomfortable to wake up from.

As with the last few weeks, I intended to stay up reading, but got tired around 11.15pm and went to bed. I slept until 7.00am, when I decided I was still tired and would doze for another hour. I then slept for another five hours, and then napped for half an hour in the afternoon. This is beginning to feel wrong to me. I seem to be tired so much of the time, and to be sleeping so long, and it’s hard to see it as being part of my depression when my mood is so much better. I don’t remember being this tired while depressed for a long time (when I was very depressed I was hiding in bed as much as sleeping in it). I suppose it could be my medication, but in 2018, when I was very depressed, but on these meds, I was working four days a week at times, which I could not manage now (admittedly sometimes I had to dose myself up on coffee to avoid falling asleep at the desk).

I’m beginning to wonder if I have some other illness such as chronic fatigue syndrome, but am scared to investigate for fear of being a hypochondriac or diagnosis-shopping, and Occam’s Razor would suggest the medication is the issue. Something does feel “wrong” though, even though it’s hard to quantify what “wrong” is. How does one measure and quantify fatigue? And compare with fatigue of years ago?

My parents suggested trying to get a phone appointment with the GP this week, which I will try to do, but I do feel like a hypochondriac, even though something feels wrong and I am the expert on how I feel.

10 thoughts on “Driven To Tiers

  1. I would definitely check it out with your doctor. Your mood does seem improved, so the extreme tiredness doesn’t make a lot of sense. Your title is clever, although I’m sorry that you have to go on an even stricter lock down. We certainly should in many places here; it’s a shame that we have so many science deniers and terrible leaders.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. My mood has improved a lot, I think, so it worries me that I’m still so tired.

      Our leaders aren’t bad, and they certainly aren’t science deniers, but they have procrastinated at times and changed their minds. To some extent that’s a product of the scientific guidelines changing, but there does seem to be some incoherence, and incompetent introduction of things like test and trace systems.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Think you would be wise to speak to your GP. Do you have regular blood tests (which you should have if you’re on lithium)? In particular, they need to check that you are not anaemic and that your thyroid function is normal. I wouldn’t think you have ME/CFS as you are able to go running and you are still able to put in a full day of work. Hope you are keeping a record of your sleep/wake cycles to share with your GP.

    Yes — the new Tier 4 system is bad news for us and I don’t agree with it, but then I have always been a sceptic when it comes to lockdowns. I really worry about the damage this is doing to some people’s mental health, particularly people who live alone, and of course to the economy — not to mention civil liberties. These are never properly weighed against the assumed benefits of locking down. I think they are also only listening to one side of the science debate too.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I do have regular blood tests, although I just realised I’m overdue for one. My last one said my thyroid was normal. Good point about work, although I haven’t been running much lately.

      I’m not keep a sleep record, as it’s only hit me over the last few days that it seems more wrong than it should.

      Liked by 1 person

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