I really just wanted to check in. I am OK today, just really drained. I am a bit down, but it will pass, but my mind feels scattered as sometimes happens to me when drained, where it’s hard to focus on anything or get energy to do anything. I wish I had more downtime, though. My uncle is coming to stay for the weekend, as he’s working in the UK. I like spending time with him, but he’s quite a personality and I’m not sure I want that right now. I’ve already ducked Sunday night dinner with him, my parents, my sister and brother-in-law at my sister’s and BIL’s house. It was just too much. I need alone time to process the last two weeks. I’m not sure if I’ll make it to shul (synagogue) tonight, I just feel too drained.
I wrote a To Do list, as I felt I have a lot of stuff to do in coming weeks and lists help me get a grip on things without anxiety. It’s a relatively short list, which is reassuring, but many of the tasks are repetitive and are going to be ongoing for a long time, particularly finding an agent for my novel and researching my next novel Some of the one-off tasks are scary too, like trying to sort out the situation with the autism-adapted CBT referral.