One day more or less down, at any rate…
I spent about forty minutes on Torah study and writing a devar Torah. I went for a jog for twenty-five minutes. I hadn’t set my iPod properly so I don’t know what my pace was, but I didn’t seem to be walking as much as recently, particularly in the second half of the run, which is usually the hardest bit. I don’t seem to get exercise migraines any more either, which is good. I did then counter this healthiness by eating a crumpet, which I hadn’t done for years. I didn’t get any time to work on my novel, or the proofreading, which was a bit disappointing. I did Skype E., which was good.
I do feel I have to structure my time quite carefully because of depression and perhaps also autism. There’s a limit to what I can do during the day. I see other people my age doing a lot more, juggling career, family, relationships, hobbies, sometimes religious commitments or volunteering and I can’t do that. When I was in group therapy last year, one person there who had previously had a fairly high-profile job, says she just tries to do one thing a day now because she can’t cope with more. That’s probably true of me, but I still haven’t accepted it. The day I can accept it, my life will probably be a whole lot better, especially my religious life and my self-esteem. I guess I’m partway there with my feeling of being in a parallel universe to my peers and not in competition with them and so not being resentful of their success, but there’s still quite a way to go.
Other than that, today saw the first episode of a new series of Doctor Who which wasn’t very good, but I’m reluctant to say more about it online for a number of reasons. I have two blogs and have also looked at some online reviews, but I am wary of posting anything. I am considering emailing my reviews to selected friends, which strikes me as a somewhat backward thing to do. Maybe I should print it and snail mail it to their real addresses. Or go fully retro and make a hard copy fanzine.