I’m hearing Alice Otterloop’s dismissal from Cul de Sac applied to my life today (see the title comment). It’s not so bad really. Shabbat (Sabbath) dinner yesterday was fine, but late. I then ended up spending an hour or more on Torah study, mostly trying to get back into Talmud Berachot to keep up with the resumed shiur (religious class) at shul (synagogue), even though I can’t go to it because we’re shielding Mum. I didn’t understand much of it and 10pm is probably too late for Talmud. I read a bit and went to sleep around 1.30am.
Today I went for walk after lunch, which I hoped would stop me napping in the afternoon, as it seemed to do last week, but it didn’t help and I still slept for a couple of hours (not sure how long exactly as I forgot to look at the clock when I went to bed). Hence, it’s just gone midnight and I’m quite awake, although listless and vaguely bad tempered. I’m not sure why I feel like this. It may connect to bursts of depression that I had on and off during the day. I only managed forty-five minutes of Torah study today, much of it going over that Talmud passage again. I spent some more time reading a novel. Then we had seudah shlishit (the third Sabbath meal) and played two games of Rummikub. Dad won both. He usually does as he has a mathematical brain and it’s a numbers game. Despite being autistic, I don’t really have a numbers brain. It’s things like this that make me worry that I’m not actually autistic, just rubbish at living life. Huh.
I’ve nearly finished the novel I’m re-reading (Doctor Who: The New Adventures: Bad Therapy). I don’t think I enjoyed the Doctor Who spin-off novels enough for me to enjoy re-reading them too often. I find a book I don’t think I remember much about, but once I start reading, it comes back to me. With Doctor Who TV episodes, I enjoy them so much I can watch them umpteen times even knowing the plot (and dialogue, cliff-hangers, and more interesting shot compositions). Ditto for some of the Doctor Who Magazine comic strips, but apparently not for the novels.
I’m back in a depressed mood, and too awake to sleep… Not sure what to do. I might break my “No screens after 11pm” rule (honoured much more in the breach than the observance) and watch TV. Maybe The Avengers or something. Something silly, to try to unwind and switch off the depressed thoughts.